This is not the blog post I intended to write. In fact, I had finished writing about how the giving and receiving of help models our right life with Christ. However, my plans changed on a drive home from church recently.

I was reflecting on Jesus washing the disciples’ feet and I suddenly felt that, at the center of Peter’s opposition we don’t find humility or even false humility.

When Peter exclaimed, “No… you will never ever wash my feet” (John 13:8 NLT), I wonder if Peter was essentially trying to instruct God on how to be Peter’s preferred kind of God. On some level, maybe Peter didn’t trust Jesus to be what the world—what eternity—needed God to be.

I wonder if he wanted to make Jesus into Peter’s image.

And, if I’m honest with myself, isn’t that often what I want?

I want to make Jesus in my image. Sometimes, instead of the foot-washing Servant, I want Jesus to storm in and save the day in the way that I expect—which almost never happens.

In moments like these, God has given me opportunity to hear His voice. And, although His voice has sounded different at different times in my life, a central theme is, Jill, do you trust Me?

Do you trust Me when your plans fall apart? Do you trust Me to be enough when you have come to the end of yourself and have nothing else to give? Do you trust Me when you have spent years praying, even begging, for something and I take it away?

Do you trust Me?

As I look back on my life, I am left with only one answer.

I trust You, Jesus, because You have reshaped my shattered plans into something more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. You have gently lifted me off the floor when I didn’t have desire or strength left to stand. You, the foot-washing God, have held me tenderly while I sobbed in Your arms.

Yes, Lord. I don’t want a lesser god of my own image. You are the only God I want or need.

I trust You.

—Jill Mansell

Face to Face with Jesus Teaching Series

Reflections on John 13:1-17 (NLT)

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