My Light (by Lauren Muusse)


Posted on July 19, 2017

Beauty, I search for you

Where is loveliness?

Despair takes over, again, a familiar friend

 

I look everywhere I can

I see only darkness

I see the woman with systemic oppression on her shoulders, unable to shake its weight

 

Peace, I cannot find you

Where is assurance?

My confidence dwindles, a known state

 

I squint, looking for hope

I see only darkness

I see the child caught in war quivering from fear at the sounds of gunshots

 

Fear, you have settled

Panic why won’t you flee?

Bravery is deflated, if it was ever there at all

 

In defeat, I stop looking for beauty, loveliness, peace, assurance, and hope

I still see only darkness

My pursuit against structures of injustice picks up again, my default

 

Beauty, I still don’t feel you

In my activism, why has loveliness not been found?

In this state of depletion comes an unexpected moment… I hear His voice

 

I hear Him tell me where He is in the darkness

I hear Him say He is with the child who is concealed under the cover of His tent

I hear Him say He hides the woman in His shelter, and carries her oppression Himself

 

Beauty, I begin to feel you

What is the light that I see?

Bravery rises in my chest

 

I stumble upon the goodness of where He resides

Strength from outside myself seeps in

I no longer feel fear

 

I see the light is Him

Courage comes not in activism, but when I look to Him

My light

 

A response to Psalm 27

–Lauren Muusse

(read by Krista Wilson on Sunday, July 16)