A reflective response to Psalm 73

Envy

In the courtroom of my heart

Envy is called forward as a witness.

“Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth?”

“Yes.” She answers. “I do.”

And then she proceeds to tell the story

of something so great,

it is greater than God.

She displays a map of all the places and situations

where I am out of the reach of God’s love,

shows the cup his love cannot fill,

the hunger it cannot satisfy.

On her calendar are the dates and times

when God abandoned me,

when he left me on my own,

and the suffering I endured.

She shows a diagram of the mistakes

God made

when he created me,

and allotted out the days of my life.

And she continues to illuminate,

in words both vivid and compelling

all that is truly, deeply lacking in my life,

and in me,

and how I must have,

I need,

I deserve,

I cannot live without

The blessings that others have received.

And then she sits down,

Her testimony complete.

And in the silence that follows,

The question echoes softly

“Are there any other witnesses?”

—Sam Drew